Back then....

Still remember two years back on the 4th of july, i went to nilai to start my studies. As i know, i have a few friends from ipoh. There, i got close to him. We were fighting in the car, teasing each other, snacthing my wallet, and playing pillow fight in a friend's room and your room too. During the pillow fight, you got lose and that's how you started to use your tongue to lick my nose.. Yucks... I could not imagine anything that could be more disgusting with the licking. Then, we were fighting using our tongue as our hands were holding onto each other. Guess that is how we have started our relationship.
But we are not quite sure whether we really like each other back then. So you pretended like nothing happen after the fight and i was quite angry about it. But late at night after we have celebrated our friends' birthday, you were supposed to fetch me back to college. Instead of fetching me back, you asked me to sleep with you and i did. However, you did not close the door in order to let your housemates know that we did not do anything in the room. Still remember one of your arm around my neck and another arm holding onto my hand. We slept till 4 plus in the morning and two of your housemate came into the room to take your water bottle. When i could not sleep that night, you comfort me by saying sleep la sleep la.. It was so comfortable.
We were supposed to go back to Ipoh the next day remember? But you told me that you dont want to go and i followed you then. I did not follow our friends to go back Ipoh. I stayed with you and we spent most of our time together. The only time we were separated was when i need to go back to college to bath and wash some clothes. You told me that you dislike my tongue piercing and belly piercing. You want me to take it off when you will stop smoking. So i took it off and you stopped smoking.
Your friends told you bad things about me. How i'm being a playgal and i'm actually fooling with your feelings. But you choose to believe in me and i'm very happy with you. You choose to believe in me. We sleep together, play games together, hang out together and eat together. Everything was perfect back then as we can spend hours in the bed, hugging each other while watching movies.
Not long after our relationship, you decided to buy me a pair of hamster as a symbol of our love. Somehow, after a few days, the hamsters were lost. They climbed out of the cage and ran off. You were sad that time remember?
Then, your friends started to boycott you because of me. They said you began to spend more time with me and left them aside. You no longer have time for them. They told you that i should move out of the house. We had a huge fight after that remember? We were arguing in the college. Anyhow, we managed to solve the problem and once again, you decided to choose me over your friends.
Practically, we spend most of our time at home. Every morning, we wake up knowing that we have each other beside. Though we are sleeping in a single bed and a room without a ceiling fan, i'm willing to stay with you then because i'm so happy being with you. While i'm cooking for you to eat, you will come from behind and give me this hug. I was happy then.
Remember in friendster, i told you there is this post about a good boyfriend. Remember what i replied? I already have him. You kissed my cheek before you left for classes. You give me a big hug whenever i see you. You were there when i need you. When i'm unhappy, you comfort me with your hugs and kisses. What more could i ask for back then?
As time passed, we begun to find more faults in each other, however we managed to cover up for each other. Each time when we go back to Ipoh, i will insert this lovely card into your laptop bag. We send lots sms to each other though we are separated. We could not sleep well when we are in ipoh.
Every little things we do for each other, we will reply with kisses or hugs. When i'm too bored in class, i'll send you long long sms to let you know how much i love you. You replied me with cute answer. Everything was so happy then. When you or me go back home after classes, we will greet each other with a big hug.
You told me you like a plasma ball. I went back to ipoh and bought u one. You were so happy then. You keep the ball like a precious ball, you spend hours looking at the ball.
During valentine, you bought the blinking lights to decorate the room. You bought flowers and present too. You gave me surprises.
When i started to like pets, you bought me guinea-pig but because i dislike them after a few days, you sold off one and kept one in your house. Then we started to keep rabbits. I cried alot of times because all the rabbits died. You comfort me then..
Though our room is small, i did not complain. I like being with you, i'm willing to stay with you.
I like the way you feed me, the way you hug me, the way you kiss me, the way you tease me, the way you take care of me.
From a small room, we moved to the room upstairs. We often had arguments in that room. But remember those time we play dota rpg till dawn? But staying in that room wasnt a good idea. We used to stay in single bed, but because we have two bed in the new room, we slept in separate bed, separate blanket. That is how the distance started. We often have ugly fights. We often cry too.
We decided to keep a hedgehog but finally we bought a shih tzu, bubu. Bubu is still quite young that time and he likes to stick to me. We were so happy with bubu's presence. He was naughty, cute and adorable. Remember the first time we bathe bubu? He went asleep after the bath. We were so panic and rush him to clinic. Luckily he woke up when we got into the car.
When we were free, we go to midvalley to have a walk. Though it is only a window shopping, we were happy walking around with each other's companion. We go for movies, look at animals and clothes.
Remember i saw this whole set of hello kitty cop for sale in mcd's? Saw it in the class and told you about it when you fetch me. What happened next? You fetch me to buy the whole set.
When you bought your new testpad, i use the cop to cop on your testpad.
No more housemate is willing to stay in the old house, we are forced to move to apartment. We pack and move the stuff together. We discuss how to put our stuff. I started to work when we move into the house. Things were different then. I no longer have time for us to spend together. I need to work to have extra money for us to spend. We no longer have time to watch movie or play games. We always have arguments.
Remember there is this time your mother came to kl and you will have to spend a night in kl? What happened then? I got fever for one week time.
We started selling puppies. You fetch me here and there. You support me throughout the business. You were there when business was having problems.
Back in ipoh, our relationship turned soar. You never fill me up with all your details. I never understand you. You never appreciate my presence. It makes feel like you no longer care. Our relationship is stable and it does not require any attention more. I'm hurt, disappointed. I thought you are the one who is able to take care of me, who will know how to appreciate me..
Yesterday, i went back to nilai. I thought i was strong enough to handle my emotion. I did not know i will end up crying in the house. Every item in the house contains our memory. We laugh there, fight there, smile there, cry there... I just couldnt stop crying until now. I did not know the memory is so deep and heavy. I thought i do not care anymore and i was wrong.
When i was packing, i saw the toys you gave me. The big teddy that you bought from watson, two of the winnie the pooh toys that you got from the picking machine (we spent rm 30 in those two) and the other one that bought from grand union. I thought of throwing them but i just couldnt do it. Remember the sparkling lights that you used to decorate the room? I took it too. The whole set of the hello kitty cop? I took it along. I couldnt stand being in that room again. I cried non stop in the house and you still need to ask me why.. I cried after i left the house. My eyes were swollen the whole day.
You smsed me, showing your concern. One second, you told me i dont deserve your concern. Next second, you say you have the rights to be concern of me. What you think i am? I have feelings also okay? I'm not faking my tears just to let you know i care. I'm crying in the house because i could not understand why a happy relationship could turn out this way? Everything was so happy at first but things turned out to be ugly. You said i'm the best actress in friendster, no.1 fakers!! You should know by yourself whether i was acting during the relationship. I'm truly disappointed here.
I'm getting tired of relationship. I'm getting sick of it. Can someone just throw away my emotion so that i could be more cold-blooded or at least heartless? I'm tired of being disappointed and i'm tired of getting hurt. Can you guys give me a break? I have been crying for two days. Is that aint enough for you guys to understand? I need a break..